Bare Faced Lies (or the bullshit we tell ourselves)


Back in the 80’s I had a girlfriend who wore heaps of make up and big teased up hair. In fact if you remember the 80’s at all you probably had a friend like that too. She was a great friend and we had lots of laughs together.

One day I turned up at  her house early and she was still in bed – no big deal but she wouldn’t let me in the house until her make up and hair were done because no-one ever saw her without it which I found astounding. I asked her about her boyfriend and she said “Nope, not even him.” Instead she would get up before him and reapply her makeup and do her hair before he woke up.

At that stage of my life (I was in my 20’s) I still didn’t even wear make up and couldn’t fathom having to put it all on before someone saw me. It just wasn’t in my frame of reference….. and even now that I’m in my 50’s it still isn’t.

I’m comfortable in my skin. I like the way I look and I love my face, wrinkles and all. I know where those wrinkles come from; the laughter, the anguish, the frowns and the worry. I even love my grey hair.

I’m a natural kind of woman.

Sure, I wear make up, usually a natural one as anything else makes me want to claw it off my face but I don’t feel like I have to wear it. Yes, there are days when I do and there are also lots of days when I don’t.

I regularly leave home without it on – quite happily in fact. Often, when I do wear it I can’t wait to come home and take it off. Yes, it makes me look good; it brightens my face, makes my eyes sparkle and my lips sing but I’m ok without it too.

So it frustrates me that we still feel compelled to urge women to smile – guess what they may be having a crap day and don’t feel like smiling. We tell our friends they look tired when they aren’t wearing make up – guess what? they may actually be tired and that’s ok.

We don’t always need to be on show.

We don’t always need to wear make up -unless we want to.

We don’t always need to hide our emotions.

We don’t always need to hide behind the mask.

We can be real and raw and authentic and show up just as ourselves in all our bare faced nakedness.

We don’t need to buy into the idea that we have to look a certain way.

We don’t need to buy into the idea that we have to look “pretty” all the time.

We don’t have to buy into the idea that we need make up to look beautiful.

We don’t have to buy into the idea that how we look is that we have to offer the world.

We don’t have to buy into the idea that we need to dye our grey hair.

We can start accepting our beauty.

We can show up, every day, as our most authentic self.

We can support other women in their beauty choices.

We can love the skin we are in.

Be your own kind of beautiful.

Do it today.

Do it for yourself.

Do it for your daughters.

Just do it.