We have all had that one friend who liked to drag us down. Who, for whatever reason, we never felt good about ourselves after we hung out with her. We may not have even consciously given it any thought until one day someone pointed out that she was in fact always mean.
For me it was one of my sisters. She seemed to always find fault with everything that I did or wore or she would say things like “Did your hairdresser mean to cut out a lump of hair at the back here?” .This was when I had just had a new hair cut and “at the back” was somewhere I couldn’t see unless I had two mirrors which just left me feeling a little unsure of my new ‘do’.
And that is just the effect certain “friends” want – for you to feel unsure of yourself. They mistakenly think that by pulling you down, they will rise up. But life doesn’t work that way and pulling you down only makes you miserable and, ultimately, gives them no satisfaction either.
I was talking with a woman in a shop the other day and complimented her on her pants, mentioning how comfortable they looked and that is when she told me about her friend. When she bought the pants she was with a friend who told her that “those pants will never fit you.” so she bought them without trying them on and loves them!
How to turn it around
Women are great together.
Women nurture and support each other. We will turn up at the drop of a hat if you need us. We will help you shift house or drive you to the airport. BUT women are also bitchy and catty .
Often it feels like there is no happy medium.
It doesn’t have to be like that though.
We can form loving supportive tribes of women. We just have to figure out how to be more loving to ourselves first.
Yes, it all comes back to self love. Always.
If we love and support and nurture ourselves and fill up our own well then we have more of that to flow out to others, especially our friends.
Self Love Heals
Chances are if one of your friends is being a tad bitchy it’s because she is not in a happy space herself. If she is always being bitchy then she’s probably not a happy girl at all and maybe needs more support and some help loving herself.
How do you help her love herself more? By being a shining example of what self love looks like
We have all heard about self love but what does it really mean?
For starters it is not all facials and days at the spa. Self love is about looking at all of your baggage. The next step deciding to unpack and sift through what is really worth hanging on to and what needs to go.
Healing your shit is the first step. In fact it is the only step that matters.
Because just when you have done healing all your shit ? Another layer comes rising up to be healed.
Having friends that are working through their stuff too is just like the cream on top . You deserve friends like these and you get there by deciding that those are the people you want in your tribe.
Declare that to the Universe. Let go of any that aren’t like it and make room for the new ones to arrive. Because they will.