Two ways trauma gets trapped in the body

trauma in the body

Trauma can mean different things to different people.

What is traumatic to me might be nothing to you.

The thing is, whether it is a big trauma or a little trauma, we all have some form of trauma stuck in our body.

Chances are high if you are a woman you will not only have emotions and memories in your body it will more than likely be stored in your womb or genitals.
There are two good reasons for that and I will help you understand that and, even better, get rid of them.

Two ways we store trauma and emotions in our bodies

(1) Inherited trauma

When your grandmother was pregnant with your mother the egg that became you was already in your mother’s ovaries.

Think about that for a minute.

Now think about some of the things that your grandmother may have been going through at that time or had already been through in her lifetime.

In my case, my grandmother would have been through one world war before my mother was born. Then my mother went through the second world war long before I was ever even thought of. Remnants of those hardships will have been passed down to me and passed on to my children too.

The issues that get passed on don’t have to come from living through war though.

Simply being female can bring with it all sorts of emotional stressors in this patriarchal world.


(2) Fight, Flight or Freeze

In any stressful situation we have three options, to run away, to stay and fight or to do nothing and freeze. Often we choose the latter – especially if we are female.

Anytime we don’t feel safe, as a woman, in this world our body goes back to these primitive solutions. It is part of our survival mechanism. PArt of our body that always freezes is the pelvic floor. When we are frightened or in a stressful situation two of our natural responses are to pee or to poop – hence the phrase feeling “shit scared” or “scared shitless”- so our pelvic floor tenses and those sphincter muscles close. This is a good thing – except that the muscles then stay tense and we hold onto that tension, and the memory associated with it until we do the work to let it go.

A tense pelvic floor will feel numb. Ther will be a lack of sensitivity which, ultimately, lead to trouble reaching orgasm. More than that though is the impact all of these stored memories can have on your female organs. Issues like fibroids, heavy bleeding, PCOS, and endometriosis ( and many more) can have an emotional component to them.

How can you release emotional issues?

(1) Yoni Mapping

Yoni mapping and pelvic floor massage can be one way of clearing and releasing emotional issues.  Simply finding the tension spots in the vaginal canal and massaging them will bring forth remnants of memories and enable you to process them, especially in the hands of a great therapist.

Yoni eggs

(2) Yoni Eggs

Yoni eggs  have a similar action to pelvic floor massage. As you move the egg around while doing your pelvic floor exercises it presses on the acupressure points in your vaginal canal thereby releasing emotional blockages there.

I’ve experienced this myself while using an obsidian egg. This particular time it brought forth a memory that I haven’t thought of for over 40 years.

This is why I sell yoni eggs as a coaching package to support women as emotions come to the surface.

(3) Womb Healing Meditation

Meditation is another way that you can tap in to some of the emotions that you have stored inside of you. Setting the intention at the start of the process that you are ready and willing to release that which no longer seves you is the key.

(4) Journaling

Journaling helps you to process a lot fo emotions and the act of writing it all out is incredbily cathartic. Journaling can slo be added to any of the other practices mentioned here.

I created the Yoni Love journal cards to help women reconnect to themsesleves and stat to clear out some old stories around their sexuality



Are Jade Eggs really the best? Really?

Jade eggs are held up as the absolute pinnacle of desirability. They are what you should be aiming for if you are looking at venturing down the yoni egg path, anything less is deemed not quite acceptable.

Don’t get me wrong, they are stunning but they are not the only crystal on the block.

Yoni eggs  Jae eggs

The Yoni egg practice started thousands of years ago in China. The Emperors at the time kept concubines and one of the ways for them to remain youthful was through the Yoni egg practice. The Chinese love jade. It is one of their most prized stones. They believe it brings good fortune and long life and used it for many good luck symbols.

When I studied feng shui a lot of the talismans for good luck and prosperity were carved out of jade.

Here in New Zealand we have our own form of jade commonly called greenstone. The Maori name for it is pounamu and it is a sacred stone to them. I would dearly love to have yoni eggs made out of this but as I said it is a sacred stone to the Maori and only a select few people have access to collecting and carving it.

What makes jade so special?

(1) Its the traditional stone used

Yes, it is.  The Chinese revere this crystal and it is part of their cultural heritage to use jade as a crystal of good fortune, prosperity, long life, good health and much more.

Does that make it the most desirable crystal to use? Not necessarily.

(2) Its very hard

Yes, it is and yes, that is what you want for any crystal that you are going to be using internally.

The MOHS hardness scale is the scale used for measuring the density and hardness of crystals. Jade comes in at a 6. To put that in perspective diamond is the hardest at 10.

Those are the two biggest reasons given for using jade and to be honest, I don’t think that is enough. Jade is also becoming more and more expensive as there is less of it around. Most jade now comes from Canada not China.

There is a lot of fake jade out there. I Googled jade for this post and some of the images that came up were everything from malachite (which you definitely would not be using inside of you) to chrysoprase.

 So what’s a girl to do?

There are so many other crystals that you can use as yoni eggs. As well as some you really shouldn’t.


My favoite yoni egg crystals and why I love them:

Rose quartz:

This is a beautiful crystal for self love and we all need more of that. It is a very gentle energy. Rose quartz helps to heal our heart’s. I often refer to our womb as our “second heart” but I’ll save that for another post.

Acording to Robert Simmons “Book of Stones” “It’s soothing vibrations are a balm to the emotions and, and they cleanse the entirte auric field.”

Judy Hall in the “Crystal Bible” states ” Rose quartz is the stone of unconditional love and infinite peace.” She goes on to say “Emotionally, ROse Quartz is the finest healer. Releasing unexpressed emotions and heartacheand transmutingemotioanl conditioningthat no longer serves.”

Sounds delicious, right?

How about this gem also from Judy Hall ” This stone encourages self forgiveness and acceptance, and invokes self-trust and self-worth.”

On the MOHS hardness scale Rose Quartz comes in at a 7 so definitely hard enough.



This is a much underrated crystal and is another gem for self love but with a slightly different energy to Rose quartz.

Rhodonite is about helping you to appreciate and share your gifts and talents with the world.

Judy hHall has this to say “Rhodonite clears away emotional wounds and scars from the past.” She goes on to say “This stone has a strong resonance with forgiveness and asssits in reconciliation after longterm pain and abuse”

On the MOHS hardness scale it comes in at 5.5 – 6.5 so definitely a good stone to be using.



Carnelian is a great crystal for the sacral and base chakras due to its beautiful deep orangey, red colour. According to Robert Simmons  it is good for the base, sacral and solar plexus chakras “Bringing in an influx of life force, sexual and creative energies, and assertive will.” I know when I have used it the ideas just come pouring in and I have to start implementing them right now.

He goes on to say “It is a powerful aid to those who wish to build their confidence, courage, passion and power.”

If you are looking for any kind of creative boost in your life or are lacking the motivation to carry out tasks this one is for you.

All entrepreneurs need this stone especially when they are launching products or programmes onto the market. Launching can be exhausting and maintianing momentum is paramount to get the job done. Carnelian will help keep you on track and inspired.

On the MOHS hardness scale carnelain comes in at 7.


If you want some of tthe same benefits of jade but without the hefty price tag Aventurine is the crystal for you. Robert Simmons describes it as ” a stone of “good luck” and is recommended for those who wish to manifest greate prosperity.”  He also states that it” Is a stone of optimism and zest for life. ”

Aventurine is great for fresh, new beginnings.It balances the yin and yang of giving and receiving which is vital for women to understand. We have been taught that we are meant to give when in relaity we are meant to receive. aventurine helps to bring that back into balance.

On the MOHS hardness scale Aventurine is a 7.

These are just a few of the yoni eggs I use and will be adding to my shop soon. If you want to stay up to date with all my offerings sign up to email




The magic of boundaries


We all need them.

We all have them but we just don’t always state them out loud. You know, so other people know what they are… and that is the problem

Meatloaf was on the right track “I’ll do anything for love but I won’t do that”. Trouble is we never find out what “that” is.

People cannot and will not respect a boundary that they don’t know exists

This is where it gets tricky. We don’t like upsetting people so instead, we say nothing and then wonder why people keep pushing up against our boundaries.

I come up against this with clients from time to time. I have it set up so all bookings with me are made online via an online booking site. It keeps it simple for me and my clients. They can see when I am available in their own time zone and work out what suits them and voila, done. They even get a simple email reminder of when they have scheduled.

Seems simple enough, right? It’s a win, win for me and my clients.

Except for one client who didn’t like using online, electronic methods to book so she would ring me when it suited her to book a session. Each time she did I was out and about, not near my computer or my diary (yes, I still keep a regular appointment book). Each time I directed her back to my website.

I wasn’t trying to be an arse. I was merely reiterating my boundary. This is how I operate. This is what works for me.

Then there was the client who told me the appointment times I had didn’t work for her. No problem, I opened up some other spots as she is in a different time zone.

Guess what happened?

Yup, she needed something different again.

You see I hadn’t stuck with my own boundary.

Once people know that you are flexible then they will keep asking for changes and your boundaries get pushed right out the door.

It is tricky when you are in business because you want to help your customers, you want to serve to the best of your ability but there also has to be a line which does not get crossed.

We need to state our hours of work and stick to them. We need to be able to spend uninterrupted time with family and friends without taking every call, answering every text and email.

At the same time if we are working from home we need to be able to do our work without friends dropping in unannounced or calling for a “quick chat”.

The only way yo do that is to keep our boundaries firm.

Clearly tell your clients the hours of work and the way that you work. Refer them to your FAQ page. Point them to your scheduling page. Keep reiterating it until they get the message. The broken record technique is invaluable. Say it as often and in as many ways that you can.

Let your friends and family know that you are working from home. Not lounging around waiting to grab a coffee or chat for hours. If you do it once they will think you aren’t serious and do it again and again.

Once you have clear, openly stated boundaries it becomes like a magical forcefield.

No longer are you having to remind people what they are or aren’t because now they know. This frees you up to do what you love with who you love. It helps you serve your clients in the best way possible because you have work time and family time clearly defined and don’t feel like you are at everyone’s beck and call.

Trying to please everyone means that you are the only one not getting what you want and there is no fun in that.


Little things that make big changes

It’s the little things in life that matter

All those little, seemingly insignificant things add up.

When done daily, all those little things will change not only your life but also the world.

We all like the idea of the world being different and better than it currently is. We all fear that it is going to hell in a handbasket and yet we avoid making simple, small yet effective changes in the way we live our lives.

Little things you do matter

This article came about after a discussion with my husband about the packaging materials I use when I ship out my yoni eggs .

I explained that I use eco-friendly packaging to lessen my impact on the world. He told me I was being crazy and that women wouldn’t notice or be interested. So I posted in one of the Facebook groups I belong to and asked the ladies what they thought. the overwhelming response was “Yes, it matters! Yes, I am even willing to pay more for it”. In fact, the response totally blew me away and sparked a lot of discussion about eco packaging and even encouraged some ladies to rethink their packing options.

4 little things  you can do daily to change the world

(1) Buy fairtrade 

I eat bananas every week and a while ago I switched to fairtrade ones. Yes, they cost a little more .at the same time I know that those who grow them are getting a fair price and can live  a happier life. None of us wants to struggle to get by and by switching to fairtrade products you are ensuring that those who supply you with the things you love: coffee, chocolate, and in my case, bananas, are also not struggling just to survive.
The cost to us is not huge in the great scheme of things  but the difference it makes to those growing these products is HUGE.

I am looking forward to the day when  more clothes  carry a faritrade logo so I know they are ethically made

(2) Buy organic

If we want to consume less toixc chemicals and have less of them floating around polluting our air then we need to support more organic farmers and orchardists.

I live in Nz in an area where I am surrounded by orchards. Most of the growers use as few chemicals as possible but if they want to export they are required to use certain chemicals and they are not good for us.

We have grow a lot of our fruit and the taste of tree ripened versus shop bought is immense.

(3) Support small businesses

I am a small business and I know how important all my clients are to me.

Small businesses care.

We care about our customers and we care about how we ar showing up in the world. If we find out that our clients care about packaging we will make damn sure that we are serving them in the best way possible.
We are not faceless, nameless corporates. we are generally a Mum working around her kids to deliver the best service she can. Or a woman getting back into the workforce after the kids have flown the coop and we still have a lot to offer.

(4) Shop local

When you buy from a small business in your own country or your own town you are keeping the economy going. You are making a difference to people just like you and that has got to be good right?

What is one small change you will make to your daily routine?





Five things I’ve learned from watching my goldfish

Life lessons from goldfish? You must be crazy!

I can almost hear you saying ” Caitlin, what do goldfish have to do with self-love?”


Well, at first glance, not much and maybe I’ve been sitting in the sun too long.

Here’s the thing, when you look deep enough you can get life lessons from anything, you just have to be willing to look.

Lesson One:  Choose who you swim with

Who you hang out with makes a huge difference in your life.  Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can lift you out of a funk because they know what you are going and growing through.


Lesson Two: Spend time in the sun

We all need to step out of our comfort zone and into the spotlight. Comfort zones can get too comfortable and then we end up spending all our time at home, in our track pants binge-watching Netflix.

Having the courage to step up and shine only comes from feeling comfortable in your own skin and accepting yourself as you are now.

Lotus flower

Lesson Three: Retreat to your cave

The sun is dazzling and hot and on-one can spend all day, every day out there. Create a sacred sanctuary for you to retreat to, a space that is calm and nurturing. We all need to recharge our batteries and home is the ideal place to do that. Having a quiet space (with a fish tank!) to chill out is a great idea. Sitting and meditating, spending time in nature or watching fish in a pond or tank help to quiet the mind and  restore our peace of mind.


Lesson Four: Nobody likes a stagnant pond

All ponds need movement to keep the water aerated and liveable just like we need to declutter and have a good spring clean. If you don’t keep things moving then life becomes stagnant, stale and dull.

Letting go can mean releasing friends that are no longer on the same wave length as you or cleaning out your closet or your car or your wallet. Of all of those letting friends go is the hardest but sometimes it is kinder to both of you if you are honest and realize the relationship has come to an end.

Lesson Five: Choose friends that will check up on you

Life as a goldfish means you get to just keep on swimming and wait for the food to drop from the sky. They may look like they have very little brain but I am sure they have just as intricate a lie as we do. One got stuck in the reeds the other day after a hectic round of “frolicking” (that means mating ) and the other fish kept going over to check her out. Eventually, I had to go rescue her as fish can’t drag each other around by the tail.

In the same way, you want friends that check in on you to see that you are doing okay. You want friends that you can rely on and won’t leave you alone on a girls’ night out for you to make your own way home.


So there you have it  – musings on a lessons





Five things 2017 taught me

New Year still fabulous

We are ready to tick over into the new year and this is the time that we start looking forward to what we want to change and improve.  We start setting New year resolutions or intentions. We look at all the things that we want to change or improve in our lives.

Here’s my five big lessons for the year:

(1) Investing in yourself is the only way to shift from where you are to where you want to be

When I did this in June last year with my awesome business coach Min Giannini everything changed. Up until then, I would have told you that I was doing everything right for my business.. but I still didn’t feel visible or heard. Now the message I get constantly is ” I see you everywhere!’ which is not a bad thing when you are in business. 
Where do you need to invest in yourself? Is it your health? Or your vision for your life?

(2) Manifesting is easy…. if you let it be.

We all get caught up in the idea that things have to be hard work. Life is actually simple. Manifesting is actually simple. You set your intention and let go of the outcome and get busy taking all the inspired actions that you can. Then you celebrate like a MOFO when the least little thing shows up.
While you are waiting for the miracles to happen you shower gratitude upon the Universe; for the sun coming up, for the clouds, for the rain, for the parking space, for the coins you found – every.little.thing. And then magic happens and more show up.
What miracles are you waiting for? What actions are you taking to move you to where you want to be? Are you celebrating the small wins?

(3) Surround yourself with people who “get” you.

I have made so many friends in FB groups this year and that network is shifting things for me in a big way. I have done one radio interview, three podcasts and one summit interview al from connections I made online. this is just the beginning and I will be sharing more of those as they come up. Check out my Media page to listen to the ones that are already live. More will be coming up in February.
Do your friends “get” you? Where can you extend your network? Who is draining you?

Pelvic floor importance

(4) We need a strong foundation.

I have been studying the pelvic floor…. a LOT and now realize how vital it is to EVERYTHING. And I do mean everything – even our breathing relies on our pelvic floor – seriously!

If we don’t lay a strong foundation everything starts to wobble and that is never a good look. It is the same when it comes to our pelvic floor. As the foundation for our body, holding it all together if it’s weak, everything is weak.

How can you strengthen your foundation?

(5) When you are passionate about what you do it doesn’t feel like work.

I have never been happier in my work than I am right now. I feel like I have finally found my groove and my niche and I can’t wait to get to work.

Doing what you love feels fun and easy and effortless. There is no dragging yourself to work or forcing yourself to work. It is the best feeling in the world.. and you get paid to do it. Win, win! They say the best thing is to design a life that you don’t need a holiday from and that includes the work that you do. Yes, you need to take a break and relax but not because you hate your job but just to recharge.

Have you found work that you love? How can you make your life one that you love?

The Magic of Yoni Eggs

Yoni eggs

Yoni eggs truly are magical.

They are one of the best-kept secrets around and yet, they have been used for thousands of years.

What the hell is a yoni egg? And for that matter what the hell is a yoni?

I’m so glad that you asked. Yoni is a Sanskrit term for the female genitalia and since most of us are erroneously referring to it as the vagina when the correct term is vulva, yoni seems like a much friendlier term.

Yoni eggs are crystals – not all crystals, but specific crystals- that women insert into their vagina. I know, it sounds weird but the reality is they make a huge impact on women’s overall sense of wellbeing.

Here are just a few ways  yoni eggs help

(1) Lubrication

Let’s face it we could all use a helping hand in the lubrication from time to time.  Stress, working long hours, dehydration (yes, it has an impact here too!) not being ..quite, in the zone – all these have an impact on how well we lubricate. Regular use of the egg increases your own natural lubrication so you don’t have to reach for any nasty man-made ones.

(2) Toning your pelvic floor

Our pelvic floor does all the hard work of holding everything in place…. and I do mean everything. Our uterus, bladder, and bowel are all sitting on the pelvic floor and if we aren’t doing something to keep those muscles toned – well, they’ll get flabby just like any other muscle. What that means is you are putting yourself at risk of prolapse – and not just of the uterus.

If you have had a hysterectomy you are even more at risk of prolapsing of the bowel or bladder as, with the uterus gone, everything else shifts to fill that space. Just an FYI, guys, you need to be doing pelvic floor exercises too. Sorry, yoni eggs aren’t for men!

(3) Sensitivity

As yoni eggs work their magic they increase the sensitivity of the vagina which means better orgasms. That’s worth a bit of time and effort each week, right?
The strongest, most potent, acupressure points in the body are in the vagina and a great way to activate them is a yoni egg. As you flex your muscles to do your exercises the yoni egg moves around and presses on each of those points. Massaging those meridian points helps clear and release all sorts of old traumas and memories.

(4) Intuition

As we become more tuned in; to ourselves and to our bodies, through regular use of our yoni egg we start to develop our own inner knowing, our intuition. The yoni egg practice helps us to pay attention to our body and interpret all the messages that she is giving us every day. One of the most commonly overlooked aspects of the yoni egg practice is mindfulness – we need to pay attention and not just pop it in and forget about it.

(5) Releasing

some of the most potent acupressure points in the body are in the vaginal canal. Using the yoni egg and doing your exercises means that the egg is pressing on all of these points which will clear and release all sorts of mental, emotional and physical blocks. In my own case, a story from when I was 15 came to the surface – something that I hadn’t thought of for over 40 years!! That’s how powerful these eggs are.

Are you ready to try them for yourself? Check out my work with me page


Five tips to maintain your Pelvic Floor

Your pelvic floor is vital to good health and well being and yet we largely ignore it unless we are pregnant. That’s about the only time someone mentions it to you and tells you to start doing your pelvic floor exercise.

The rest of the time we go on our merry way giving little thought to a part of our anatomy that literally holds us all together.

Recently, I have been interviewing women for my next book and hearing stories that will make you tighten your pelvic floor just listening to them. Stories of uterine prolapse and rectal prolapse and these are young women, women in their thirties and forties.

My mother had a uterine prolapse in her late forties after bearing 5 kids which meant I heard about Kegel’s at a young age. I was only in my teens at the time and I remember joking with my sister and cousin pulling all sorts of weird faces as attempted to do them.

Here’s what I know now – a weak pelvic floor is no joke.

Uterine prolapse affects hundreds of women a year – in all age ranges . There are four levels of prolapse from minor to major and all of them will result in long term care being needed to fix.

Here’s some tips to help you maintain the health of your pelvic floor

(1) Good Bowel habits

Straining wreaks havoc on your pelvic floor muscles. The reality is we shouldn’t need to strain as that is a sign of constipation. Getting enough fiber in our diet is of utmost importance for our overall health as well as our pelvic floor health.
Squatting is the best position for evacuating your bowel – with a side bonus of being a great position for your pelvic floor too.

Yoni Eggs Pelvic Floor

(2) Squat.

Squatting is great for toning your pelvic floor muscles. The easiest way to start squatting is by resting your back against the wall and lowering your body  like you are about to sit in a chair. Do ten reps a day.

(3) Exercise your muscles

Knowing how to do your pelvic floor exercises is the key. A lot of women think to that squeezing the buttocks or thighs is helping with their pelvic floor. It isn’t. Ideally your buttocks and thighs stay relaxed and you can feel the lift and squeeze of your pelvic floor .
Start to identify which muscles to use by stopping mid flow next time you pee. For a great description read this article

Yoni Eggs

Yoni eggs, like weightlifting for your vagina

(4) Yoni Eggs  

Yoni eggs are amazing. I like to think of them as weightlifting for your vagina.  The fastest way to boost the strength of any muscle is by lifting weights and that is exactly what these eggs do. By doing your exercises with a yoni egg inside your vagina you immediately boost the effectiveness of those exercises.
Then there are the benefits of the crystals that you choose to use which are an added bonus. I truly believe every women needs a yoni egg.

(5) Make time

Maintaining your pelvic floor is worth investing your time in.

The alternatives don’t bear thinking about ;

Incontinence pads
Bladder and Bowel Prolapse ( after or before hysterectomy)
Even if you have had a hysterectomy you still need to maintain your pelvic floor muscles so as to prevent further prolapsing of the bladder and bowel.

I’m not trying to scare you. I am trying to educate you on things that we often don’t talk about. all the women I have spoken to in my research said they wish they had known earlier how important their pelvic exercises were.

Start caring for yours today.



Fueling the Feminine

Fueling the feminine is a concept that I have been toying with for the past few weeks and months.

The truth is that we live in  a masculine world. This is detrimental to our feminine psyche . Don’t get me wrong, this article isn’t about bashing the masculine or blaming the males in the world for anything and everything. This masculine world is just as hard on males as it is on females.

It constricts all of us into clearly defined and stereotypical roles and declares that we are “ball busting bitches” or “nancy, gay, men” if we dare to step out of them. Men are taught to suppress all of their emotions and women are taught to appear helpless and subservient. I just found this article from the Huffington Post about a homework assignment sent out to a class.

This disempowers both sexes and leaves all of us disconnected from both the masculine and feminine aspects of ourselves.

Two young girls

What disconnects us:

How did we get disconnected from our Divine Feminine in the first place? Aren’t we just naturally feminine if we are born female?

The short answer is ; maybe.

The long answer is that in reality we are born gender neutral and shaped by the way that those around us treat us and this carries on our whole lives.

Girls are given everything pink and taught to nurture and care for others, to put others needs first and to “mother” with baby dolls and tea parties.

Boys are taught to be active and explore and get out into the world with trucks and “action figures” .

Girls are taught to be quiet and “lady like” . They are discouraged from climbing trees and getting dirty.

The programming becomes so ingrained in us that we forget to be any other way. We buy the whole “girls love pink” ethos.


And its all a lie.

What fuels the feminine?

sensual woman

Women thrive on connection. We need our besties to hang out with and share our stories with. We need our partner to be our rock, our safe place to land and rest our weary heads We thrive when we connect with nature – either through walks on the beach or forest or pursuits like gardening where we literally connect with the earth.

Women thrive when they are supported  – when they have a space to share their dreams, goals and visions and d receive encouragement .

Women are fueled by other women. Women have been gathering in circles for years to receive nurturance and support.

We are fueled by beauty. we love to surround our selves with things that make our hear sing – whether that is crystals or art or flowers – we need beauty.

Embracing our sensual nature helps us to stay tuned in to ourselves and our bodies. Paying attention to what lights up our senses and doing more of that.

Our feminine selves have been domesticated for too long and letting ourselves embrace the wild aspect of ourselves will light us up and fuel us greater than anything else. Nothing beats a good cackle with your girlfriends to lift your spirits and bring us back to JOY!

What fuels your feminine energy? When was the last time you took part in that?


Natural born receivers

Natural born receivers…

That’s what women are.

I bet you’re confused.

I bet you are thinking to yourself : “hang on a minute, aren’t women supposed to be givers??”

That is what we have been taught over and over and over again; women are born to give.

And that is what we do. We give and give and give until we are spent and then we give some more. We hear it all the time “Women are natural born givers”
But we are not.

We are designed and wired to receive.

Yes , you read that right.

We are wired to receive and more than anything we are wired to receive pleasure and that is often the one thing that we struggle with the most.Relaxing pic of womans feet

Receiving feels uncomfortable for us. We bat away compliments like they are pesky flies buzzing around our head:”This old thing? I got it at K Mart . On special. But look at you – you are positively glowing!”

We struggle to let others do things for us : ” No, I’m fine. I can cope with it all. Yes, I can do the bake sale too. I just have to drop Ella at kindy and pick up the prescription for Joey and then I can bake all afternoon before I take Jimmy to soccer and Ella to dance class.”

But more than any of that we deny ourselves the real pleasure of receiving when it comes to our sex lives. Instead we focus on our partner. We stress about taking “too long ” instead of being present to the pleasure  and in  doing so we deny ourselves the joy of the journey.

Opening into the journey

What if we just relaxed?

More than anything we need to relax into the space of allowing – allowing ourselves to receive and see what that feels like. We can start small by accepting compliments with a smile and a “thank you” and work our way up to saying yes to help and not feeling like we have to be Wonder Woman all the time.
Then we can begin to just breathe and be in the moment, drop into our body and see what feels good and embrace more of that.

Getting out of our head is the biggest gift we can give ourselves and being present.
Present to our needs and wants and desires. They are just as important as anyone else’s  and we have the right to receive.

If you are ready to more fully embrace yourself why not come and join my Self Love Immersion group.